Hey World, this is ME!	back to Articles
Written by Charles Frost · First published in 6ft+ magazine Q4 1995

Dear reader, it's me again in what might have been a regular column! This is the fourth and probably the final article in the series that began with "The Unseen Abuse". I feel (particularly with the content of this instalment) that things have come full circle. A cycle of healing has been completed so it feels like a good place to draw things to a close (although the editor seems to think I will continue). My development will continue, but further reporting would seem superfluous to the message I wish to communicate in this particular series.

Since last reporting in there has been another profound shift within me - so profound that I feel able to reveal my identity, but more on that later. I recently had the opportunity of meeting someone who had followed the series of articles with interest, and who had shared similar experiences to those related in the series. At first I wasn't sure whether I should agree to the meeting or not. I didn't know if I could face owning the things I had written, if I could stand up and be counted, say 'yes, this is me'; even though it was only to one person. Just like when I moved to Manchester, or when I went to work in America, I was faced with a new potentially threatening situation and I was afraid. Thankfully, just as in the previous situations, I didn't allow the fear to stop me. I thought about why this person might want to meet me: were they looking on me as an example of healing possibility, as inspiration and hope - just like I had done with certain people in the past? Perhaps it was my turn to help up those people behind me in the same way I was helped. If I could help just one person to develop then that was worth any price of revealed identity, so I agreed to the meeting. I took a risk and as so often is the case with risk taking, it paid off, big time.

We met, we talked, and during the conversation I found myself thinking, "I've had this conversation before, but last time I was on the other end of it." I was saying the same things that were said to me almost three years ago! I could remember exactly how I felt hearing those words and how I thought it was impossible back then. Suddenly I knew how my friend must have felt three years ago saying those words to me: the excitement of knowing the path forwards for me to take, the frustration at trying to help me see it, but knowing I have to make the journey myself, and through it all feeling the compassion that comes from having been there himself. I knew he must have felt all these things for me back then because I was feeling them now for the person in front of me. Again, I saw how far I had come so it was a developing experience for me too (as it must have been for my mentor three years ago when I inadvertently reminded him of how far he had come). I have come to realise it is always the same: we are never just teacher or just pupil - in teaching we learn and in learning we teach, in helping others we help ourselves, in helping ourselves we help others. Everything moves in circles, or rather spirals of development and one day I hope the person I met with will have that conversation with someone else and be on the other end of it!

So, here I am, three years on and fast approaching 22. I've just started my final year at uni and I don't think I've ever felt so positive and full of energy. Recently I was helping on a stall at the clubs and societies fair during Freshers Week. Suddenly I saw myself - a fresh-faced, shy, stooping eighteen year old stumbling through an alien world, wearing a dazed and confused expression like an animal caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. I watched him for a while and winced at the memory of that cramped existence, but then I was filled with hope knowing what awaits him in his three years at Manchester. He looked at me, only briefly because he couldn't maintain eye contact, but in that moment I looked him in the eye and smiled. I hope it was a smile that said, "I know who you are, I know where you've been, I know where you're going; relax, you'll be fine!"

I've smashed through many of the barriers created by my experiences of being tall whilst growing up. I still have some barriers to break through, mainly those left behind from the sexual abuse I mentioned in my first article. I think those are going to be the hardest to bring down, but now I know fear is an illusory wall that will only hold me back if I believe in it. (It may not be real, but it certainly looks and feels rather convincing!!) However, since these walls are not height related, I will not be reporting my development in here.

I travel hopefully. I have learned that scars can heal and transformation can take place. To all those who are still nursing scars of any kind: I wish you all the best for your continuing journey to recovery and I hope my words have been helpful. As I said before, if I can help just one person to develop then that is worth any price of self revelation. I stand by everything I have written and so the time has come to remove the veil from the author's face: my name is Charles Frost (a.k.a. "Fudgey, the Wonder Sheep", whom long time members may recall. Ed).

Now I'm asking for your help. It's time the rest of the world realised what it's like for us, what we go through and how we experience life. I'm going to write a book about the tall person's experience of life both as an adult and whilst growing up, but I need your help to do it. I'd like you to put pen to paper. Send me your thoughts, your experiences and how they affected you; and most importantly I want to know your feelings. Anonymity is GUARANTEED and you don't have to supply a contact address if you do not wish to. Include any biographical details you feel are relevant such as age, sex, height, family background and details, career details, relationships with friends and partners, etc. If you have trouble beginning, a useful starting point might be to write about when you first became aware that you were taller than you peers: what happened, how did it feel, what did you think at the time and what do you think now? You could start there and move forwards chronologically. Above all, what is it that you want the 'experts' and Joe Public out there to be made aware of as far as height is concerned? This is your chance to speak out - together we are strong. Send to: Charles Frost, c/o Tall Persons Club GB & Ireland, PO Box 163, Stevenage, Herts, SG2 9ZY, UK.

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